Skip to main content

Life of a Modern Hoodoo; a Tale a la Raymond Chandler

witch practicing magic online spells

It was another day in the life of the online hoodoo spell lady. She sat before her computer, staring at the screen, her inbox beckoning her. She knew the drill - the first task of the day was always to check her emails. A couple of spell inquiries were waiting, each vying for her attention. 

The first inquiry, however, made her heart sink. She knew it was the worst kind - the kind that demanded reassurance. The kind that would make her promise the impossible. She had warned people about this, but it seemed like nobody paid any attention. It was a woman this time, seeking a spell to make a man give her more of his time, sex, and conversation. The catch? She wanted to know if it was going to work. 

The online hoodoo spell lady sighed. She knew that success was a tricky thing, especially when it came to people wanting "more" of something. She crafted an honest response, but deep down, she knew that it would only discourage or confuse the woman further. Nevertheless, she hit the send button, hoping for the best. But in her gut, she knew that the woman would keep searching, looking for a scam artist who promised the world. After all, they were everywhere, lurking in the shadows, ready to prey on the desperate and the gullible. The online hoodoo spell lady shook her head. She knew that in this business, the line between magic and trickery was razor-thin. 

Casting a spell is like aiming an arrow at an invisible target. Even if you hit it, you can't convince anyone else of the victory. That's why most of the legit practitioners of magic hesitated to make guarantees of success even in the modern age of "customer satisfaction". Successful rituals were often marred by unmet expectations. And when it comes to proving the effectiveness of a spell, magic is scientifically unproven. 

The spell lady replied by email, stating as much. A few minutes later the prospective client wrote back, saying she didn't understand the reply. The spell lady sighed, and typing slowly with one hand while working the mouse in the other, endeavored to break it all down into nice little chewable sections for her: the spell might work, but even if it did, she might not be happy with the results. The potential wrote back with still more questions and explanations of her situation, wanting concrete answers and promises. But already the spell lady could tell: she's not going to be a client; even if she decides she wants the services, it's better to turn down a client than to deal with somebody who's got two hundred bucks worth of false expectations. 

“I don't peddle miracles,” she wrote. “My spells are as potent as any other sorcerer's, but I don't make promises I can't keep. I won't paint a picture of rainbows and unicorns just to lure you in. The truth is, magic is not a magic wand that grants your every whim. It's a tool, like any other, with its own limitations and conditions. Some spellcasters might sell you a fairy tale and promise you the moon, but I won't deceive you with false hopes. I'll tell it like it is, plain and simple. If you want a spell to work, you have to put in the effort and believe in it. You can't just sit back and wait for miracles to happen. Magic is not a substitute for hard work or common sense. It's a supplement, a catalyst, a spark that ignites the fire of change. 

“So, if you want a spell that works, come to me. I won't promise you the world, but I'll give you a fighting chance. I'll do my best, and that's all anyone can do. The rest is up to fate, destiny, or whatever you want to call it.” 

And in the end, the potential client went to a scammer who promised her the moon with a big red bow on it, and got taken for every dime she had. To say that the spell lady didn’t care would be untrue; but neither was she surprised. 


END.

Popular posts from this blog

Perfume, Cologne, and Its Use In Hoodoo

The original recipe for cologne was reputedly given to St. Elizabeth of Hungary by an angel -- the concoction was known as "Hungary Water" and was used primarily as a medicine, rather than just a mere fragrance. Charles Godfrey Leland remarked that it therefore was appropriate hoodoo practitioners would use such a substance for feeding their conjure bags and other talismans. The term cologne actually comes from a later preparation, Cologne Water (named for the German city.) The original Cologne Water is a spirit-citrus perfume launched in 1709 by Giovanni Maria Farina (1685–1766), an Italian perfume maker from Santa Maria Maggiore Valle Vigezzo, Italy. In 1708, Farina wrote to his brother Jean Baptiste: "I have found a fragrance that reminds me of an Italian spring morning, of mountain daffodils and orange blossoms after the rain". He named his fragrance Cologne Water, in honour of his new hometown. The Original Cologne Water composed by Farina was used on...

13 Herb Bath for Curse Removal

13 Herb Bath for curse removal can be made from from any 13 uncrossing and purification herbs. For example, if I needed to fix a batch of 13 herb bath right now based on what I've got in the house, I could mix bay leaves, rue, mint, rosemary, wood betony, sage, verbena, angelica root, white rose petals, lemongrass, lemon peel, agrimony and arnica, and it would suffice well. Other herbs like hyssop, pine needles, juniper leaves, boldo, eucalyptus leaves, mullein, basil, lavender, or marshmallow leaves would be good to use too. By no means complete, here is a list of just a few herbs said to remove a curse or jinx that you can use to make your own 13 Herbs bath: Agrimony Alkanet Angelica Arnica Basil Bay leaves Black Pepper Blessed Thistle Boldo Cayenne Pepper Chives Eucalyptus Garlic Hyssop John the Conqueror Juniper Lavender Lemon Lemongrass Lime Marshmallow leaves Mint Mullein Onion Pine Rosemary Rue Sage Sandalwood Verbena White Rose Petals ...

The Intranquil Spirit

(EDIT: Up to date information about the Intranquil Sprit can be found in my book  The Intranquil Spirit , available on Amazon.  This post has some incomplete information which is clarified in the book.) The Intranquility spell is, unfortunately, the first resort of many a rejected lover. In some ways it makes sense -- the more unhappy and forlorn one is about a breakup, the better this idea of making the other partner feel just as much so starts to sound. Unfortunately, this spell is often not well suited to a case. The purpose of the standard Intranquility spell is to have the person be tormented by the spirit until they make contact with you, or whomever the spell is being cast for. This means that if a person is already in good contact with their ex OR if they're one of those people who cannot restrain themselves from initiating contact, then this already is probably not the right spell for that case. If you've had an Intranquility spell cast and you make contac...

Mother Bombie's Witch's Bottle for Curse Removal and Spell Reversing

The witch bottle is a very old spell device. Its purpose is to draw in and trap harmful intentions directed at its owner. Folk magic contends that the witch bottle protects against evil spirits and magical attack, and counteracts spells cast by witches. Mother Bombie's Book of Witchcraft contains the following recipe for constructing a witch's bottle: To Make the Witch’s Bottle Which shall cure of all sorceries done against ye You must have a bottle which sealeth with a cork or wooden plug, in which you shall place the following: A quart of your own water shall be taken and boiled with a paring from each toenail, and with some of your hair, for fire will burn away all evils, and as the water reduces so shall your trouble. Put thereto sulfur, XII nails made from iron, and VIII pins of brass. Add also a heart that has been shaped and cut from from leather or cloth, which you shall pierce with one more nail or pin, for that is the heart of the evil doer who m...

Best Days of the Month for Magical Workings - Old Time Grimoire Magic for Successful Witchcraft

  There is always a fascination among witchcraft practitioners with the art of timing -- the belief that performing a spell at a particular hour or day will give the spell an edge, such as the Planetary Hours and their derivative the Voodoo Hours  used to decide when a magical working will be performed. Naturally, there are also beliefs about the best days to perform spells. This listing comes from a Renaissance era grimoire, but which contains spells that date back to Greco-Roman era. (The book is for sale with the translation The Book of Oberon, though you can read the direct transcription for free via Esoteric Archives. ) This is using standard calendar dates, so 1 is the 1st of the month, 31 is the 31st of the month, etc. Good to begin all manner of things For hate and enchantment against enemies "Right naught" -- don't plan for magical work on this day To enchant and conjure wicked spirits For invisibility, and enchant against enemies For works that regard theft an...