Monday, January 11, 2010

Reconciliation and Return Lover Magic Spells

In a previous post, we explained the importance of clear thinking and swift action whenever a person wants to use magic to reconcile with a lover (or, honestly, even if you don't plan to use magic but still want to reconcile.) In case of such emergencies, I offer the following to help you stay ready.

STEP 1: Healing.

This is both a de-stressing and also negativity-cleansing act. It will help you recover yourself so that you'll be at your best once the real love magic begins. This is a simple recipe for a Healing Herb Bath taken from Scott Cunningham's recipe book:

3 parts rosemary
2 parts lavender
2 parts rose
1 part peppermint
1 part cinnamon

(Note: I also like to add some rue to this bath, but if it's not available don't worry about it and stick to the original recipe.)

Simply tie up the herbs in a cheesecloth or a large coffee filter, and add them to the tub while it fills with hot water. You can also, alternately, steep the herbs in a large pot, strain them, and add this liquid to your bath. Myself, I like to keep things simple.
Whatever you do to add the infusion, get into the tub and soak for a time, ensuring that you immerse your whole body including your head and hair. How long you should remain in the water varies person to person, but most people recommend you stay for at least 5 minutes. I like to stay 30 minutes when it comes to magical baths. When you first get into the water, concentrate earnestly on releasing all the hurt and bad feelings in you, and undoing any physical damage which events may have caused (people have been known to have stress-induced heart attacks after losing a loved on, not to mention the more common anxiety attacks and depression that can also follow such events.) You may scrub yourself in the bath with a washcloth or body brush, but DO NOT USE SOAP IN THIS BATH as there might be conflicting odors or energies. Consider the focus of this bath to be wholly spiritual, not physical. Baths are very powerful magic when done correctly, and should be taken seriously.
You can read some more information about spiritual baths in this post.

Step 2: Mental preparation.

Many people are experienced at meditation or other means of clearing their mind. Many other people are not. Mint is a well-known ingredient for promoting mental clarity, and it may be beneficial if you can drink mint teas and burn mint incense or diffuse essential oils during this period. It is also an uncrossing ingredient, and if you think that someone may have done malicious work to ruin your relationship, this can also help ease things.

At this point, you've really got to consider whether this is going to be worth it. Lots of people who start out feeling sure this is the route for them give up after a few weeks because it's just too much sacrifice. Be sure of yourself.

Step 3: Spells.

If the breakup has been very recent, as in hours or a few days, it's my observation any Return Lover type spell can do the job -- a sudden rush of affection or loneliness can be enough to drive them back if it's only been a short time. This is a Phase 1 type reconciliation. If it's been longer, you're in Phase 2 and you may have to start focusing on the particular problem that drove your loved one away: if they find they can live happily without you, it gets harder and harder to convince them that they'd be more happy with you. You really have to demonstrate major changes to attract them again.

Furthermore, if you're in Phase 2, what's upcoming it likely to be a lot of give-give-give while receiving almost nothing in return. Remember: they're not begging to come back. Your lover owes you nothing, and is focused now on their own concerns. Odds are they are not going to feel appreciative of your "effort" to keep alive a relationship they're done with, so don't expect them to return and suddenly work twice as hard to keep the romance going. This is all going to be on your shoulders. Be forewarned!

This simple spell for calling back a lover comes courtesy of Jim Haskins' Voodoo and Hoodoo book:

"Take his or her photograph and place it face down on a table. Place a red candle on top of it. Burn red candles on it three hours in the evening and three hours in the morning for six days. Turn the picture face up and continue the candle burning ritual for three more days. This will bring the person back."

Of course, if you're in Phase 2 you may need something more complex and specific.

There is, however, a tradition which says that a black cat bone is guaranteed to bring back your lover. Now, the process by which one is obtained is not an encouraged feat (it involves boiling some poor cat alive.) Some people feel that any cat bone can bring strong good luck, however, and those can be reliably obtained from this site. Beware of fake cat bones!
Step 4: Maintenance OR Recovery.

Step 3 brings two possibilities: success or failure. Eventually the point will come when you feel you've reached one or the other.

If you have failed and are sure there is no more hope, but still find yourself clinging to the object of your affection even though you know it's useless, and have decided it's for the best to move on, you might benefit from the following spell courtesy of Gillian Kemp in her Love Magic Book:

"Using a pin, inscribe a white candle with your name. On blue paper in blue ink, write the name of the one you wish to depart from. Place the paper on a saucer and pour melted wax over the person's name. Pierce the name with a pin and bury the pin and paper outdoors with three garlic cloves to exorcise him or her from our life. Alternately, use an indoor pot of soil and throw the soil containing the paper away after a few days. Allow the candle to burn down past the inscription before snuffing it out."

If you have succeeded and brought back the lover you were seeking, it's advisable to secure the relationship to avoid further mishaps. It's actually common that a relationship which was in turmoil before doesn't last even after a reconciliation succeeds, because the old troubles remain and are often burdened even further by new resentments caused by the period of separation. Anna Riva in her book Golden Secrets of Mystic Oils recommends the following spell:

"To keep a loved one true, anoint a red candle with a mixture of Love and Controlling oils. Beneath the candle place a square of parchment on which you have written your own and your lover's name. After sunset, burn some Fire of Love incense, and light the candle. Burn for ten minutes. Repeat the ritual each evening until your love is secure."

Only you can say how much work your relationship is worth. Some romances flow smoothly, others take constant effort. Whatever your case may be, it is hoped this information will be of help to you.

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